I’m not just speaking for Smack today, but for Gossip Boy as a whole…

Here at GB we’d much rather be raising a ruckus by catching Republicans and Constitutionalists at something – we love bringing down the self-righteous a notch or two, but in all fairness we need to say something to a handful of Democrats today.

And we’re not going to be very pleasant about it.

Let’s start by saying that most Democrats in the state of Oklahoma are determined to do the right thing. There are some, however, that aren’t and will immediately recognize themselves mid-way through the next paragraph. It’s certain that Mr. October will. (Figure that one out sleuths.) I’m talking about you Andrew Jackson Democrats.

No one usually bothers pulling up all the records for political action committees and seeing who donated what, who the PAC transferred funds too, if the PAC sent funds to another PAC, and such. Well, our OCD asses did and we’ll tell you right now that what we’ve uncovered is a slap in the face to every Oklahoman desiring an honest government and honorable leaders. 

The biggie? Individuals maxing out personal contributions to a candidate then sending more money to a PAC that maxes out the amount given to that same candidate, who then transfers money to another PAC that then gives that candidate more money. The paper trail is there. You’ve been sloppy about your corruption, because no one has bothered to look closely at things before. This type of behavior is why people have so little faith in the party, well politics as a whole. It’s inexcusable that you feel you must function in such a criminal manner just to get a little bit of power. 

This bullshit must stop right now or names are going to be named. This is Gossip Boy…and you know we’ll name your goddamn name and be loud and obnoxious doing it. We’ll probably say something about your friggin’ grandmothers and hair just for the hell of it. And, of course, you know we’re going to find the least flattering picture you ever took and use that in the story. Try to stop us and watch how quick we throw five of your seated legislators and one of your gubernatorial candidates to the wolves. And they’re not even involved in the mess we’re speaking of today. They’re into…other things.

We’ve butted heads with you guys once this year already and in the end it was you that blinked. How far did your threats of intimidation and blackmail get you? No where. The truth couldn’t be stopped and you ended up crawling off to lick your wounds. If we must, we’ll dance again.

Maybe our readers would like to know those of you, who have been feeding information to the GOP about other Democrats you’ve had a falling out with in the past. You see, when we got our guy embedded into the rightwing circus, it ended up giving us access to a lot of the information they have on you guys. Were we on friendlier terms, we probably would’ve shared that with the CC, but they’ve just been a bunch of assholes, so why bother?

What you’re doing is wrong, it makes the entire Democratic Party look corrupt, and reflects badly on the state. You risk toppling and soiling the ODP for years to come. The little political games you gentlemen (loosely termed) have been getting by with for years must end now. There are much more legal methods to raise funds for the candidates, many who might not know what you’re doing but will have their reputations blemished and chances at office ruined because of you. The ones who do know what you are up to, don’t deserve to be in office.

Now your typical reaction to us in a case such as this is to call us naïve about politics. You’ll tell us about the games that must be played, the deals that have to be swung, the alliances created, the selling out for a bigger score at the end. Shut the fuck up already. We’re not naïve. There’s an awareness of the things  you try to convince everyone, yourself most of all, that you must do for the sake of the party and its goals. We’ve evaluated all your excuses and find it a bunch of crock. You do those corrupt things not for anyone’s benefit, but your own. You do those corrupt things, because that is the type of person you are.

This is a moment in time, when, win or lose, the right thing must be done. There are some really decent men and women seeking office as Democrats in the next year; some for the first time and some not. They do not need to have their political careers ruined, due to the back room machinations of others. To get the heat and attention off of them, we’re prepared to throw certain lawmakers, who do need a comeuppance, into the fire.

And you’re going to be the kindling.

It’s not politics as usual anymore. Someone’s watching now. If you just can’t resist the urge to throw your dirty money around at least use it to feed some hungry kids. It might do you some good to feel the nobility in satisfying real hunger instead of quenching your taste for power.